Thursday, January 31, 2008

My word of the day....

Today's word of the day is Flatulence.

Say it three times out loud to yourself....(giggling like a little girl in 7th grade)...Love that word. It is a word of 3 beautiful syllables that sounds nothing like FART. Why can't we just use the word Fart? What is so wrong with that?? I truly like it, but find myself using "stinker or passing gas". I guess growing up with a father and 2 brothers can cause a girl of such manners to like the word FART and do if often...ehhehehe...I just admited that I fart...Read on....

Ladies don't FART do they?? NEVER!! Do we not teach our daughters to not have Flatulence? Hold it in...muffle it....cover it up....go to another room (like I would ever make it there)

For those women out there, Farting...I MEAN having Flatulence is not normal is it?? Wait, who was the woman in Martin's next to me who left a big one ? I mean...did you seriously think your cough would cover up the fact that you had Flatulence? It sounded like a sick dump truck driver dumping 20 ton of gravel....I heard it...I heard your FART!

I found a great website to explain the digestive system and what Flatulence and gas really is. You will find the much needed information on Flatulence! IF you don't have the time to visit Gas in the Digestive Tract, then just note that:

Another common complaint is passage of too much gas through the rectum (flatulence). However, most people do not realize that passing gas 14 to 23 times a day is normal. Too much gas may be the result of carbohydrate malabsorption.

So, please don't be shy...let er loose no matter where you are...it is normal right?? Even if it means you do it on your hubby while lying on the couch, do it on a student's desk you just don't care for (J.S) LOL, or do it under the covers and cause a Dutch Oven...right dad? Oh wait, there was someone looking in the windows right??

Definition of Dutch Oven:

Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.

So your assignment: Give your significant other a "Dutch Oven" tonight and then say, "but honey, didn't you know that passing gas 14 to 23 times a day is normal?" Report back to how he/she reacted :) OMG...I seriously can't wait....

(Running to the cupboards to see if I have any cans of beans....)

5 comments:

tracy said...

you are sick...i was laughing out loud at work...i keep telling john that on our wedding night i'm gonna fart and pull the covers over his head...he said he will ask for an annulment....do you think its healthy that we dont pass gas in front of each other....we both wait until he leaves at night and blow away.....we are going to explode if we keep this up.

tracy said...

alicia when you talk about growing up with two brothers and your dad....i think my dad thought he had boys because he used to sit on our face and fart......how do you like that for the american family.....and in the car he would gas us and lock the windows.....nice huhhh..........

Mary said...

Lisha...Ewwww....
It's totally embarrassing to pass gas...see I can't even say the F word. You are so your father's daughter. I tried.

tracy said...

Lisa i failed your test and so did your uncle.....we both decided that we not ready for the fart game....so we will instead be blowing up with unwated air....lol....

~d said...

I'm going to first eat something totally RANK .. and then BAM... surprise him. He'll wonder why I'm EVEN IN THE BED in the first place!! lOl.. I wonder if you fart in a ziploc bag and seal it?? Could you give it as present?
lol....Emma thinks farts are the best thing ever... :) nice huh. I wonder if she could win some type of pageant with farting talents?
d