When my first child was born, I read everything about what it was like to have a baby to prepare myself and keep myself ahead of the game. I read parenting magazines and books on how to get your child to sleep, all to realize that it just fogs my mind and creativity.
It is funny how I believe the more I know made it harder being a mom. I should have just shut those books and followed what God gave me...a mother's instinct.
Some of the books I read were based on "typical" behaviors and they usually forgot to mention that your child may not follow these "typical" behaviors.
It makes you think as a mom that something is wrong with your child or you if your child doesn't follow the book. My son was opposite of everything they said in the books. Developmentally he did everything that was physical ahead of the game. From feeding to bedtime he has not followed the books at all. What other people tell me that works for their children never works for Noah. For example, when getting Noah to try a new food saying things like, "Eating _______will make you grow to be a big boy like your Daddy!" or "I would be so proud of you if you ate ____!" No what works is, "DONT YOU EAT THAT!!" and he freaking tries it.
As a first time mom that makes you feel so insecure and judged by others. I felt overwhelmed, stressed, and most of all angry at others for their comments. People made comments to me that maybe my son was autistic, spoiled, not disciplined at home, and allergic to certain things we were giving him to eat/drink. I got advice on how to discipline, get him to sleep, how I should be staying home with him, you name it I got it. And whether or not he was any of those things, I was doing the best I could.
I truly believe after having my second and being able to keep a schedule with both kids and the one I babysit, keep my house clean, watch afterschool kids, tutor 1-2 days a week, and work online every couple months, that experience, confidence, and the ability to follow my own advice and instinct is what makes me a great mom. Not the books or the advice from others....so to all the first-time moms out there...this is my advice to you. Take advice if you ask for it, shut the books and the Internet, close your eyes and use your instinct...cuz it will OUTRULE it all ladies!!
Enough of the venting and rambling....
Then, along comes my daughter who follows the books and advice to a T. But the funny thing is... I won't even pick up another book on how to raise a child....I have decided to just listen to my child, observe, and try what I think will works based on my child. I am not just talking about the sleep thing...it is all that goes along with being a parent.
Just as my training in becoming a teacher, what works for one child doesn't always work for another....differential teaching is what we call that. If a child learns best by doing things hands on, then you give them a project to do where he/she build something...or if a child learns best visually, you have him/her create a poster...blah blah blah....so... guess what??
Differential Parenting....is what I call it :) What works for one child doesn't always work for another when it comes to parenting. What worked for Noah as a toddler isn't necessarily going to work for Sydney. For example, we had to play the head games with Noah to get him to eat, but Sydney you just let her do it herself and she will eat whatever as long as she is being the BIGGIE GIRL!
Good luck Moms...
What is your advice to other moms?? Trials and Tribulations?? Feelings of being a first time mom??? Come on spill it!