Thursday, May 29, 2008

What is it?

This might gross some of you out, so beware...but it is quite the topic of interest today on Caledonia Drive.

I was feeding the baby (AKA: the one I babysit) today on the couch...she was drifting off to sleep when I smelled something terrible...I lifted her and sniffed, nope, I smelled myself, nope, I smelled the couch, the blanket, and even the air, nope....then I called the little smelly shitzu dog up onto my lap and REEK...he smelled so bad...worse than the smelly smell he gets when he needs groomed which his how he got his name by Debby...Smelliott.
Elliott

His left ear was soaked and smelled of stale urine....My head quickly spun around and asked Noah to come here....

Reasons why I suspected Noah:

Situation 1:

6 days ago I was cleaning Noah's room and cleaning out the closet for a trip to Goodwill when I noticed something wet in a small container in his closet... I pick it up and sniff (I am a sniffer...I sniff everything....I blame the big nose.. just habit...I sniff the food before I eat it, I sniff pillows, I sniff my kids, I sniff clothes, clean/dirty, however, I do not sniff my hubby unless he is leaving for work in the morning...lol lol) Back on topic....So I sniff the small container filled with liquid and jump back quickly...IT WAS PEE!!

"NO........AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What Mom?" He stops in his tracks...he sees me in the closet.

"What is this??" Like I don't know.

Very quietly he whispers, "peeeeeee......."

"What made you think you could pee in the closet??"

"You told me to stay in my room and I had to pee......" Okay good reason... So I discussed that if he had to pee when he was sent to his room that it was OK to go the potty.

Situation 2:

4 days ago, we were in the basement playing and I was cleaning up the toys and reorganizing what the kids were putting away...obsession with an organized (my organized lol) basement. And Sydney says, "Pee." and points to the little plastic basketball hoop in the basement. Where the ball rolls down the hoop and lands at the bottom is a small hole....FILLED WITH PEE!!!

I swing around stare at Noah and say, I mean yell, "No....AH!!!! I see more pee!"

"HUH?" He ignores me.

"THERE IS PEE OVER HERE IN THE TOY!" I am getting really frustrated.

"Mommy, you locked the bathroom door down here and I had to pee." OK if you gotta go you gotta go, RIGHT?? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Noah, if you need to go the bathroom, and the basement one is locked, you go up the stairs and go at the top of the steps. THERE ARE 4 FREAKING BATHROOMS IN THIS HOUSE USE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay Mommy," he hangs his head down.

I take a deep breath and say, "Go upstairs get the cleaner and the paper towels. you are cleaning this up."

"EWWWW....I Don't want to!"

"TOO BAD...you should have thought of that before you peed here! GO!"

He returns and cleans up the toy and then I reclean the toy with disinfectant.

We discuss the appropriate places to pee at bedtime.

Situation 3:

TODAY....I smell the dog....he smells of urine. Thoughts run through my head. Was he using the potty and the dog came over and he peed on him? Did the dog rub his head in the pee that maybe Noah missed by the toilet, cuz dogs are gross, did the dog fall in the toilet? or Did Noah purposely pee on the dog?? and WHERE??

I remain calm because I wanted to puke...it smelled terrible!
I take the baby upstairs and put her down and proceed on my investigation. I start my scanning the house for puddles of pee....Nothing.....

Then I remember the kids were on the deck playing picnic and camping trip. I scan the deck...dry as a bone....

I ask Noah..."What happened to Elliott?" He looks at me strangely. "SMELL HIM!" I demand.

"EWWWW" He scrunches up his nose.

"What did you do?" I question.

"I peed on him."boy peeing

"Why and Where?"

"Outside. I peed off the deck and he was in the grass." He admits.

"Did you try to do that?" I ask.

"Yes...." Head drops down.

"SMELL HIM NOAH...WOULD YOU LIKE IF SOMEONE PEED ON YOU?" Trying to put him in the dogs shoes (if he wore them).

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yells.

DEEP BREATH..."Where do we pee Noah???"

"In the potty...I am sorry Mommy." He is apologetic. And I don't care.

"Go to your room!" He heads upstairs, "AND DONT PEE IN THERE!"

Okay....
I know this is normal to a point, but come on already! I remember a story my mom told about my brothers and they were this age...age 4/5. They enjoyed peeing on bugs at the beach....

Do I just not get it because I don't have a ding dong, a wong, a wang, a pee pee, a penis, a hot dog, a SHIZAM, a I THINK WITH THING body part??

Boys are so hilarious...and I can't help but laugh at all this...I just hope we are done with the peeing where we please stage!!!

4 comments:

Mary said...

I think boys pee in weird places because they can. Girls don't have that fun equipment but i bet we would if we could. We can't even write our names in the snow with pee. Oh well, just keep talking to him. LOL...behind my hand.

Jamie said...

Thank god I have a girl!!! We are currently going through a farting stage....the louder and longer the better with Emily...She acts so much like her father!!!

hilary said...

I don't think I will play with Elliot anymore... tee hee hee!!!
Well... Like I said, my "godson" attempted to pee on all of us in the middle of his third birthday party... off the deck while we were all in the midst of doing a "pull string" pinata. His mother's face looked like she had seen a car wreck and a porn all at the same time! Red with her jaw wide open screaming

Staci said...

LMAO!!!! That is too funny and I know how gross it is... UGH! BOYS! :)