My life right now is absolutely boring.
I have nothing to blog about.
My brain is dead.
My house is a mess.
I am throwing a bridal shower on Saturday and I have 3 million things to do before then.
On a good note....I did go out with a couple friends to an indoor gym yesterday morning and then we hit up Mickey D's for lunch! It was a MUCH needed day out for me and the girls. We had lots of fun! Thank you Staci for recommending it and getting us all together. I..I mean the girls...had a great time!! :)
Now for my ramblings....
I just spent the last 30 mins wasting time looking at a couple "creative" blogs on the Internet. I get so frustrated and lose my inspiration, because it looks like everyone has so much money and can afford to have a cute little craft room and all the necessities. I just can't do that right now. I WANT it, but it isn't in the cards. Funny thing is...I have a "craft room" but nothing to fill it with.
I am making my sacrifices to stay home and sometimes I just WANT to be selfish. But most of you know me and know that I am the FURTHEST thing from selfish. However, there is a tiny tiny piece of me that really wants to start doing more for me. I want to do more of my interests, go back to work, and make my own money.
Most of me says no way. This is what I want for my kids. They get what they need and want first. The best thing is for me to be with my kids and be here with them till they go to school. Then my hubby and I will have the same hours (given that we are both teachers), so I won't feel like I am missing out on anything.
I never in a million years thought of myself as a Stay at home mom. Frankly, I still don't. To me a stay at home mom stays home with their kids and does housework. I think I fall more in the Work at home mom category. I get to be home, but I am always working. Hubby says to stop, we don't need the money to make the bills, but I can't stop.
Something is missing being home. I like the feeling of "pitching in", doing my part, and staying busy. I may complain sometimes about the busy-ness, but over Christmas break when I wasn't babysitting, working online, or tutoring, I was BORED since I only had to entertain my kids and LAZY!! I also got a cold because my body stopped.
I am sorry I am rambling, but I am sorting out my emotions. I am so confused with what I want and what the best thing to do is. My ideal would be: Me working part-time, Noah in school (which he is already), and Syd attending pre-school while I am working. Then the other times I would be just home with Sydney and have fresh baked cookies and milk for Noah when he got off the bus. But my ideal world isn't functional. Me working part-time would only pay for the 3 year old preschool hours. lol. So I give up.
It's either Work from home or work full-time.
Over the next couple months I will be revisiting this because in the spring is when I will be making my decision to start looking for teaching jobs.