Thursday, January 22, 2009

Reasons I don't go to a gym

While busting my butt today with my exercise video in my very comforting living room, I was reminded of why I enjoy working out at home instead of going to the gym. For those of you who know me personally.....you know how much I can lack in the "lady" department. For those of you who are getting to know me....


RUN.....RUN FAR AWAY!!! ta he he he.....


Reasons I don't go to the gym:
And THIS is NO exaggeration. This stuff happens to me.


5. I have no coordination. While doing my jumping jacks, I hit my hand off the ceiling fan! It wouldn't have hurt so badly if the fan wouldn't have been flying at full speed!

4. I have hangy down parts that people just DO NOT want to see!! I was doing plank jacks and I could only think about one thing during the entire PAINFUL experience was "Please God do not let anyone walk in and see my chubs hitting the floor before my feet!"

3. You should have seen these Double D's jumping around when doing jumping jacks. Talk about 2 black eyes!! So embarrassing!

2. I breathe so heavy that if I were standing beside you in an exercise class, you would think one of my lungs was punctured! On top of that, my face turns the color of grandma's pickled beets!

and number one reason I do not go to the gym:

1. I have the WORST case of gas!! Thanks to the increase of Fiber in my diet, I toot at every jump, every crunch, ever squat!! Again, it wouldn't be so bad but an increase of fiber= an increase of STINK!!


So, I will save the American people and remain in my house with closed and LOCKED doors as I continue my exercise regime!

7 comments:

Staci said...

LOL... let's just say I share one of your problems... Its horrible. Jason would totally vouch for how bad it REALLY is! ha!

Cameron said...

Well, then it was a VERY good thing that I was in extra pain over the holidays so we didn't hit the Gold Gym for a free 7 day pass. LOL! See, everything does happen for a reason!

Lisha said...

lmao we will do that in Feb Mary.. hopefully by then the Fiber will be adjusted into my body and my boobs will be smaller LMAO...

Staci, as for you....i know it isn't the boobs LMAO..so it has to be the gas...have you upped your fiber intake as well?? hehehehe It is VERY healthy to pass gas ya know! ta heheheheh

Staci said...

I wish it were the boobs.. MAybe one day?!?!?

Sara said...

LOL :) I share your other problem and can feel your pain and embarrassment.

Johnnie Avocado said...

There's a lobe in my brain which is burning right now! I'm sure it's not nearly what you describe though. I always want to exercise with my wife, but she has the same "boob" problem. I always joke and say "Honey, there are children present!"

I say don't be embarassed of doing something that makes you better. When I see "untrim" people working out, I say good for them...they are doing something about it! Keep going!

Mary said...

Your mom taught you better then that!
Love ya,
mom