Today I got up as usual, started my day with a 2 1/2 mile power walk with my neighbor/friend Amy, fed the kids, did some laundry, checked my farm on FB (I know right? I am so obsessed!), watched Y&R, had an early dinner with friends, and headed to our new Target to shop for my family reunion tomorrow. As soon as I got Syd in the cart, I started walking and felt the gush.
It started. The bleeding.
I headed toward the bathroom where Hubby was with Noah, but we decided to head home instead. The tears fell again, as I know now that it is real. Everything I had hoped for is gone.
The hope that just maybe the dates were all wrong and the baby was still growing. The hope that I would go back on the 5th and a miracle would happen.
For some reason, as hurt as I feel, I am somewhat relieved to have an answer. An answer that God wanted this child with Him and He will send me another soon. I have the answer so I don't have to wait any longer to find out. Yet, it hurts all over again.
I am slowly getting closure with all this and time will heal. I will continue to have faith in God that He knows what He is doing. I will continue to feel blessed for what I have.
I want to thank my Hubby for being such an incredible rock for me. He continues to amaze me with his positive words and his ability to comfort me even when I seem to cry so much. I want to thank Amy for comforting me with hugs and my current favorite cherry Slurpees, and everyone for their positive thoughts and prayers. I appreciate you all more than you know.