But don't I always? Always have and always will. I talk my friends' ears off. I have to halt myself to make sure I ask how they are because I will just ramble and ramble just to hear myself talk. I don't do it intentionally. Cuz I do care how they are but I just expect them to jump in. Bad assumption on my part. I am working on it. Sorry Staci, I did that to you tonight....blah blah blah blah......She caught me at a time I needed to vent. And she is so easy to vent too. She just listens and truly understands. So I thank you girl.
I was going to walk tonight...alone. I was looking forward to it (a tad) as I usually walk with friends. I had my MP3 player ready and my goal was 7:00 but the sky looked so scary, so I used # 2 in my book of 500 excuses why I don't exercise. #2: The weather is bad. Poor excuse as I have a treadmill and ON DEMAND full of great exercise videos. So you ask, what did you do? Well, I sat on Facebook and caught up on blogs. I call it my mental health break. It was good for the soul.
I slowly caught up, wasted time tending to my farm on Farmville, chatted with Staci and Amy (who needs to update her blog as I am sending you there. lol.) on the phone, and read to my kids. It was a relaxing evening I must say.
*If you easily get offended, please pull away from my blog, as I am going to be very honest here*
Hubby is getting eager to have his way with me (is that clean enough?) I feel terrible, but this will all be over soon. The bleeding has slowed. Thank goodness.
I had no idea that it would be this awful. I guess, truthfully, I am so uneducated on what a miscarriage entails. I am a graphic, detailed person. Just saying bleeding and passing of tissue is not enough information for me. I should have asked someone for more graphic information. Cuz what I went through was nothing like I expected. What I felt, what I saw, how I felt during and after it, and the pain I felt was nothing like I imagined.
The contractions were TERRIBLE from Monday-Friday. They'd come and go every 2 minutes, then I would "pass" tissue and bleed. It was so painful that I buckled over in my bed in a fetal position and cried and squeezed my hubby's hand.
I have such respect for women who struggle with this and go through this over and over again. They are my heros. They are number one in my prayers at night. I want every woman who has been through a miscarriage to be blessed with a healthy full-term blessing from God. They deserve it.
I thank my doctor, my wonderful, caring doctor, for the medication that slightly took the edge off the pain. I also thank her for helping me through the most embarrassing doctor's appointment eva in which I uncontrollably bled everywhere. Oh how I wanted to die.
I thank my Hubby for his comforting hugs and touching of my hair (something I always need when in pain). His words, support, and comfort have gotten me through the last week.
I know I have thanked him before, but I can't tell him enough how much I appreciate him. I.freaking.love.him.
On a better note, things are still changing around here. Call it hormones, burn-out, or just a "break", I have decided to go back to teaching this year.
Yep, you read that right. I am leaving my current job as a "work at home mom" and heading back to teaching for the year. Just one year. I am taking a one year position just to get myself into it again for me. Something for me. This way I can save some money for the next attempt at baby #3. This is a huge decision for our family, but we feel that it is best for us. I will blog about this decision next one, as I have done it again....
Rambled, rambled, rambled......
Here are some pictures of what we have been up to.
Our cucumbers from our garden. We have picked about 6 now! The kids had fun trying them and cutting one up!
God is good.